Our entire series on Developing Renewed Relationships begins in chapter three of the book of Colossians. Let’s look again at this chapter to remind ourselves of the context of these studies.
• Col 3:1,2. Q. Because we are “risen with Christ”, what are we to seek? Where should our affections be?
• Col 3:17. Q. How are we to do all things?
In Colossians 3 Paul sets out to educate Christians about their new life in Christ. Because Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins by dying on the cross for us and then rose again from the dead, he has successfully defeated the power of death, the devil and sin. Now that sin has been defeated it no longer has dominion over us. We are now free to live a life to the glory of God.
After Paul set forth this teaching in principle, he followed it by teaching the practical. He immediately began showing how setting our affections on things above (v2), mortifying the deeds of the flesh (v5,8-9) and putting on Christian character (v12-16) should directly influence our relationships. The first relationship he deals with is that of a wife to her husband.
• Colossians 3:18 Wives, ___________________ yourselves unto your own _____________________ as it is ________________________________.
For the remainder of this study we will examine the Biblical profile of a godly wife. First let’s look at the godly wife’s Authority
• Col 3:18. Q. A wife’s submission to her husband is “fit _______________
• Eph 5:22. Q. How are wives to submit to their own husbands?
The word submission in this context means that a wife should willingly place herself under the leadership and headship of her husband. As we see in the verses listed above, this submission is first and foremost a submission to the Lord before it is a submission to her husband. We have already learned this very same principle in our studies on the government and our employers.
Whether it is a man submitting to the authority of his government or his employer, or a wife submitting herself to her husband, each of these is first an act of obedience and submission to the Lord and to the order of authority that he has ordained on earth.
This world has attacked each and every authority/submission relationship that the Lord has set up. Employees are encouraged to rebel against their employers by rabid unionism, citizens are encouraged to rebel against their government by social anarchists, and children are encouraged to undermine the authority of their parents by a spirit of rebellion. Satan has had a role in each of these perversions. It would be foolish to think that Satan would have left God’s greatest institution – the family, untouched. Indeed he hasn’t. The family has suffered tremendous attack at the hands of Satan by his influence in an ungodly culture. One of the greatest areas of attack has been the role of husbands and wives in the home, and the destruction of this authority/submission principle.
Many women shudder at the mention of the word “submission”, this is clear evidence that our culture has strayed away from God’s original design and has perverted it. In an effort to redeem God’s definition of the word, let’s look at some other examples where the principle is found.
• Eph 5:22-24. Q. What is the husband to the wife? ___________________
Q. What does Paul compare the husband/wife relationship to?
Q. Who’s example of submission (subjection) should the wife follow?
As Christians we are all submitted to the headship of Jesus Christ. Jesus showed the greatest love anyone could show by offering himself for the sins of the whole world. We submit to Him because he is our loving Lord and because God has set Him up as our Head.
Likewise men are to love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Eph 5:25). And likewise, God has ordained that husbands be the head of their wives.
• 1 Cor 11:3. Q. Who is the head of man? ___________________.
Q. Who is the head of the woman? _____________________.
Q. Who is the head of Christ?____________________.
Many folks despise the word submission because they believe it means inferiority or subjugation. The fact is, God has designed an order of authority that exists even among equals. If a woman’s submission to her husband meant that she was inferior to Him, than it would also mean that Christ is inferior to God the Father, for he also submits to Him. Nowhere in the Bible is a man told to demand submission from his wife, nor is he told to make her to submit. This is completely contrary to the true definition of the word and violates the analogy which Paul paints of the church submitting to Christ and of Christ to God. Jesus has never forced the church to do anything, nor has God made Christ.
Submission is a voluntary act, carried out in a sincere spirit of respect for the one to whom we are submitting. A wife who submits herself to the headship of her husband begrudgingly is like the church who only obeys Christ with lip service. Neither of these is truly submitted.
God’s plan for the Christian wife is that she willingly place herself under the authority and leadership of her husband. Next of all let’s consider the wife’s Attachments.
By affections we mean those things which the wife is focused on or devoted to.
• Titus 2:4. Q. Older women are to teach the younger to be sober and to do what?
• Prov 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of ________________________.
• According to Titus 2:5, older women are to teach younger women to be discreet, chaste, __________________________________.
God’s design for the married woman is that she be devoted to her role as a wife and mother. It is no surprise that while God exalts the role of a stay-at-home mom, our society demeans it. Women are told today that self-fulfillment comes from outside of the home. That a sense of accomplishment cannot be found in her role as a wife and mother, but only as an independent woman in the working world. This is completely contrary to God’s design and to what he values.
• Psalms 113:9 He maketh the barren woman to ____________________, and to be a __________________________ of children. _________________
The woman who seeks fulfillment and satisfaction outside of her role as a wife and mother has missed God’s perfect will for her life. According to Psalm 113:9 God is to be praised because he allows women to keep house and to be the mother of children. • Contrariwise, what does Titus 2:5 tell us will happen if a woman is not a keeper at home or obedient to her own husband?
When a Christian woman finds herself attached to the things of this world, and pursuing priorities other than her husband and her children, her life does not praise God, but rather blasphemes his word. These are very strong words but they illustrate God’s strong desire that his pattern for the family, and specifically for the wife, be followed.
Next, let’s consider the godly wife and her Air. By “air” we mean her manner or demeanor.
• Titus 2:5 To be __________________, __________________, keepers at home, ____________________, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Here in Titus 2:5 we find a list of qualities that older women are to teach to younger women. Let’s define these terms:
Discreet: A discreet woman is one who is not loud or stubborn (Prov 7:10,11). Having discretion means that she is not opinionated, and she knows the proper times and venues to express her opinions. This does not preclude her from being highly intelligent or of strong character, but this strength is under control and expressed using wisdom and discretion.
• Prov 11:22. Q. What is a woman who does not have discretion like?
• 1 Pet 3:4. Q. What does God deem to be of great price?
• Prov 31:26 She openeth her mouth with ____________________.
Chaste: To be chaste is to be innocent, modest and pure. The godly wife seeks to remain pure from the influences of this world. She is modest both in her dress and her demeanor. She does not crave attention, nor draw attention to herself. The wife who seeks to be chaste will dress in such a way that emphasizes her godly purity and not her sex appeal.
Don’t be fooled by those who would claim that to be modest is to be unfashionable or ugly. In Genesis 12:11 we are told that Sarah was a “fair woman to look upon” and then in 1 Peter 3:6 we see Sarah used as an example of a godly and submissive wife. Physical attractiveness and modesty are not mutually exclusive. Notwithstanding, in our oversexed society which emphasizes a woman’s body over of her character, the godly wife will find it difficult to find the middle ground between what is fashionable and what is modest. The important thing is that she always errs on the side of modesty and does not try to walk the line of fashion when it borders immodesty.
Good: The word here can also be translated “kind”. The godly wife is kindhearted. • Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the __________________________________________.
The godly wife is kind. She does not lose her temper with her husband or her children. Her children have come to realize that kindness is her “law”, and they will not hear her screaming or yelling in anger towards them.
As with all relationships, the key to a wife’s relationship with her husband is first her love for the Lord. She submits to her husband and delights in her family because it is God’s plan and purpose for her. To the extent that she refuses this role, is the extent to which she rebels against her God.